Rebecca Behrens books
Rebecca Behrens books
Rebecca Behrens books

You might know that I am a fearful flier; in fact, you probably know it because one of the ways I “deal” with my fear is by blabbing to everyone I come into contact with about how freaked out I get about planes. Before a flight, I might talk about my phobia to: my super, my cubemates, my parents, my grandma, my fiance, the checkout lady at Duane Reade, all cab drivers I come into contact with, strangers on the Interwebs, the barista, strangers on the Air Train, my seatmate, etc. Most people are nice and try to reassure me by saying one of these three things:
–I fly all the time! And nothing has ever happened to me. (There is a first time for everything, buddy.)
–Air travel is the safest mode of transportation. (I bet they said that about the Hindenburg. And the Titanic.)
–You have a better chance of getting killed in a car accident on the way to/from the airport than on the plane. (This one makes no sense to me. I mean, we just established that I am a worrier. Are you trying to give me more fears? In NYC, people often like to tell me that I have better odds of getting smushed to death by a falling window-unit air conditioner. Well, congratulations: I’m now afraid of air conditioners, too.)

Despite all that reassurance, I still white-knuckle my way through a hell of a lot of flights. No what matter shiny object you put in front of my face, I can’t stop thinking OMG I AM WAY UP IN THE AIR IN A METAL TUBE WHAT’S THAT NOISE I HOPE NOBODY LOOKS AT MY GOOGLE SEARCH HISTORY AFTER I DIE.

Correction, there is one shiny object that will actually distract me and make me relax. It is this:

Yes, I read Bossypants on my flight and it was so awesome that I actually enjoyed myself. Instead of crying annoyingly next to my businessman seatmate, I was laughing annoyingly. Hysterically, the whole time. I even bonded with the flight attendant about it. We giggled together.
Tina Fey is my hero. She nailed every single word in Bossypants, the most consistently hilarious book of essays I’ve read (other than a Sedaris book). There’s even an essay that deals with a fear of flying (not hers), which I read at 36,000 feet. It was meta.
Writing this post, I kept rereading parts of the book and wanting to transcribe bits to show you how amazing and super-funny it is. But then I realized that I would end up posting the entire freaking thing, because it’s all so good, and that would probably violate copyright law. So I will say: judge this book by its cover. Which is awesome. Like the contents.