Rebecca Behrens books
Rebecca Behrens books
Rebecca Behrens books

I had so much fun reading Libba Bray’s Beauty Queens. So much fun that I didn’t want to write a review or even sum up my thoughts on the madcap, hilarious satire. Instead, here’s my homage to that perfect end-of-summer read: my own contestant fun facts page, if as a Wisconsin teen I hadn’t been more Daria-like than a Teen Dreamer.

Name: Rebecca Behrens
State: Miss Wisconsin
Age: 16
Height: almost 5′ 3”
Weight: Depends on how many dairy products I have sampled
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Green
Best feature: Arm muscles from frozen-custard scooping

Fun Facts About Me:

I secretly love to sing along to my Boyz Will B Boyz CD while dancing around my room. But in public, I tell everyone I only listen to alternative and folk rock.*
My favorite show is NOVA Captains Bodacious.
The thing that scares me most is Ladybird Hope the swimsuit competition running out of the Corporation’s 100 Lashes mascara.
I love watching old movies, and I like to make Hitchcock blonde Halloween costumes.
My dream is to run the Corporation’s doughnut production business unit. Or to be an investigative journalist who exposes crooks with hidden cameras. I love me some hidden cameras.

*The Corporation suggested that I do not mention Ani DiFranco by name.

For those of you who’ve read
Beauty Queens: what would your fun facts be?